Your SEO is Pathetic
While you're burning cash on campaigns that convert like garbage, I'm building backlinks that make your competitors weep. I don't just do SEO—I dominate it.
Companies that desperately wish they worked with us
(They keep calling, but we're too busy dominating for our actual clients)
How I'll Destroy Your Competition
While other "SEO experts" are still figuring out what keywords are, I'm already ranking you #1 for terms that don't even exist yet.
Technical SEO Mastery
I fix the technical disasters your previous "expert" created. Core Web Vitals? I invented half of them.
- Site Speed Optimization
- Schema Markup Perfection
- Mobile-First Indexing
Content Strategy
I don't just write content—I craft digital masterpieces that make Google's algorithm weep tears of joy.
- Keyword Research Domination
- Content Gap Analysis
- Competitor Annihilation
Link Building Empire
I build backlink empires so powerful, your competitors will question their life choices.
- High-Authority Backlinks
- Digital PR Campaigns
- Link Audit & Cleanup
My Flawless Process
While others wing it, I follow a battle-tested methodology that's never failed. Because I don't do failure.
1. Audit & Expose
I ruthlessly audit your site and expose every embarrassing mistake your previous team made.
2. Strategy & Dominate
I craft a custom strategy so brilliant, your competitors will try to reverse-engineer it for years.
3. Execute & Launch
I implement changes with surgical precision while your competitors are still reading SEO blogs from 2015.
4. Rule & Repeat
Watch as you dominate search results while I continuously optimize to maintain your throne.
Case Studies That Break Records
Real results from real clients who went from SEO disasters to search engine royalty.
TechGadgets Inc.
From page 47 to #1 in 21 days
- 2,847% increase in organic traffic
- $1.2M additional revenue in 90 days
- Dominated 47 high-value keywords
CloudFlow Solutions
Zero to hero in competitive SaaS market
- Ranked #1 for 23 SaaS keywords
- 400% increase in qualified leads
- Outranked industry giants
Results That Make Competitors Cry
Don't take my word for it. These numbers speak louder than your current SEO strategy.
"This arrogant prick actually delivered. Went from page 47 to #1 in 3 weeks. I hate that he was right about everything."
"Cocky? Yes. Effective? Absolutely. My organic traffic increased 400% and my competitors are still wondering what happened."
"I was skeptical of the attitude, but the results don't lie. Best ROI I've ever seen from any marketing investment."
Pricing That Pays For Itself
Choose your level of domination. Warning: Results may cause excessive success and competitor jealousy.
Starter Domination
Perfect for small businesses ready to stop embarrassing themselves
- Technical SEO Audit & Fix
- Keyword Research & Strategy
- On-Page Optimization
- Monthly Reporting
- Email Support
Total Annihilation
For serious businesses ready to obliterate their competition
- Everything in Starter
- Advanced Link Building
- Content Strategy & Creation
- Competitor Destruction
- Weekly Strategy Calls
- Priority Support
Global Supremacy
For enterprises that want to rule the entire internet
- Everything in Total Annihilation
- International SEO
- Enterprise Link Building
- Custom Tool Development
- Daily Monitoring
- Direct Access to Me
All plans include a 30-day money-back guarantee
(Not that you'll need it, but I'm that confident in my abilities)
Meet The SEO God
The arrogant prick who's been making competitors cry since 2013
Why I'm Better Than Everyone Else
While other SEO "experts" were still learning what meta tags were, I was already gaming Google's algorithm and making millions for my clients since 2013.
I've been featured in every major SEO publication, spoken at conferences where other experts take notes, and consistently deliver results that make industry veterans question their career choices.
My methods are so effective, Google has personally reached out to ask how I do it. (I told them it's a trade secret.)
Frequently Asked Questions
Everything you need to know before handing over your credit card (or your competitor's).
How quickly will I see results?
Most clients see noticeable improvements within 24 hours, and significant ranking increases within 30-60 days.
What if I don't like your attitude?
Tough. Results are more important than feelings. But I do offer a 100% money-back guarantee if you're not satisfied.
Do you work with all industries?
I specialize in highly competitive industries where I can truly showcase my skills. If you're in a boring niche, I'll probably pass.
How is your service different from other SEO agencies?
I don't hire fresh grads who read blog posts. I personally handle every aspect of your SEO strategy, ensuring top-tier results.
Ready to Dominate?
Fill out the form below to get started. Warning: I only work with clients who are serious about crushing their competition.